Rewatching 2025-04-04 to 2025-04-25
Simply the saddest thing I’ve watched in my life.
----- rewatch
Some scenes still remain just as uncomfortable to watch as they were the first time. They still land exactly as heavily as they always did tho, nothing’s different about that.
You know what. Was I stupid when I first watched this? How did I not notice the way music is used in this show. Yes I knew it was good. I knew the tracks were amazing. And I also knew that the music made me cry many number of times. But why do I not remember how dramatic the music is in bringing out our character’s emotions. I’m watching Emi’s origin story at the start of ep9 right now and this whole scene is pure auditory overload. How the present her’s piano track is playing in the background. How there’s a subtle percussion and string harmony accompanying it. How there’s drums to deepen each scene change. How the flashback emotions fluctuate the intensity of the piano track. How her thoughts of the past and future entangle with each other. WTF am I hearing and watching right now. If it were just a piano rendition it would’ve been good but not THIS.
This synchronization is peak cinema!
At this point, I should probably start counting the episodes that don’t end with me crying.
I was a fool to think that this show wouldn’t be as hard hitting as it is. I thought I was just over hyping this. I thought it was just tear bait. Oh no no no. This is on a league of its own.
I agree, me from five years ago. This is indeed the saddest thing I’ve watched in my life. Nothing even comes close.
You know, when I watched this for the first time, I didn’t like the ending all that much. How could Kaori change so drastically, just like that? You don’t just get rid of your fears and anxieties overnight. There’s no way.
But now… having gone through something similar myself during those final months before I left my home country. I get it. I can say for a fact: you do change. You change in ways you never expect, just from knowing that this is your final stretch. And I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must hit if you knew your life was actually ending. I think I’d become a different person entirely, completely unrecognizable from who I was before. Just like how Kaori changed.
I understand her now, at least a little. Her perspective. Her sadness. Her resolve, and at times, the lack of it.
Because since I last watched this, I ended up being in Arima’s shoes too. Watching my grandfather slowly get swallowed up by cancer. Losing more and more of himself, bit by bit. First, not being able to visit our house. Then, not leaving his own. Then… not even being able to leave his bed. It all happened so fast, looking back. And yet at the time, it felt like forever.
And it wasn’t just us preparing for the inevitable. It was them too.